I mentioned in a paper I wrote this week that, “nobody likes to hear they’re proud or that pride is what they need to work on; Satan wins so often because of this. Lucifer has been mastering the sin of “pride” since the preexistence and it is the most used tool in his toolkit. President Hinckley stated the following:

In the premortal council, it was pride that felled Lucifer, “a son of the morning.” (2 Ne. 24:12–15; see also D&C 76:25–27; Moses 4:3.)”

President Benson also stated that, “Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity

toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. (See Hel. 6:17; D&C 58:41.)”

How can we improve relationships if our pride creates enmity? I realized some of the games I played in my marriage could be considered enmity. I saw myself using the following prideful tactics at times: Impatient with impatience, Caught up in who' s right and who's wrong, Blaming, defensiveness, Attack, counterattack, Score keeping, with intentions of noting who is winning or losing, Refusal to apologize first, Holding grudges, Putting words in spouse's mouth to manipulate, Stubbornness or unwillingness to change, Unwillingness to learn from spouse and Fault finding.

President Benson also spoke about contention, “Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.

Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.)”

When I use the games, I am not building relationships, as a matter of fact I am stunting the growth or damaging the relationship with that individual. In some cases, the damage could be irreparable. A consequence of these “games” could be losing the chance to have a relationship with certain individuals who lose their trust in you; It’s a high price to pay – over pride.

In my personal relationships, I can show my willingness to change by being less competitive and be more accepting of “the authority of God giving direction” to my life. As I do this, I know He will help me understand His desire. He will help me overcome my “self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.”

Gottman tells us that when, “Pride gets in the way. We act selfishly. We come up short, and fall out of integrity with ourselves and those we love.”

I read an article about 7 ways Pride is hurting our relationships.

1.   WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT WHEN WE’RE WRONG. This just shows the other person just how immature we are, and how little respect we have for them.

2.   WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT WHEN WE’VE FAILED. Admitting we’ve failed, especially to our significant other, is hard because we’re afraid it’ll make us look week in his eyes.

3.   WE DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO OTHERS. Getting caught up in our own ideas can keep us from listening to everyone else’s, which then means we can’t see things from other people’s perspective.

4.   WE DON’T WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH. Pride may cause us to lie, hide, or cover up the facts.

5.   WE DON’T WANT TO ASK FOR HELP. For some people, asking for help shows weakness and vulnerability.

6.   WE DON’T DO WHAT WOULD BE GOOD FOR US OUT OF SPITE. Similar to not wanting to listen to others or ask for help, we sometimes avoid doing something that we know would be beneficial for us solely because it came from someone else.

7.   WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT WHEN OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS FAILED. This makes it easy for us to be in denial and to keep pursuing something we already know won’t work.

There is a lot of good advice and defining of pride, so we should have a good grasp on what it means to have pride...now the hard work begins. What will we do with this knowledge? President Benson reminds us to be humble so that we can succeed.