Staying Emotionally Connected

As we were reminded this week by Brother Gibbons, we can turn to the scriptures to help guide us as we journey toward perfecting different areas of our lives. These daily steps towards perfecting ourselves, will eventually help us in “becoming” more Christlike and eternal beings. The scriptures tell us these small steps are important:

D&C 64:33 "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great."

So, this week as I turned to the parable of the 10 Virgins to learn about our marriages…something I had never considered when I had previously studied this parable, I did so remembering we were told that we could look for “the importance of preparedness, heeding warnings, diligence, 'careful vs casual' and…emotional intimacy.” 

Matthew 25

1 “Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.”

As I discussed this with my spouse this week, I could see how we could interpret this parable, with turning toward one another in mind. I thought about my communications and all the things we did to connect with each other and saw that they were either helping to fill our lamp, not adding to it or assisting in depleting what had previously been put in it.

My 26^th anniversary was this week and I was away from my spouse on an assignment for work in southern Utah for 4 days. I spent one of the evenings in the hotel looking at all the different depictions of the Parable of the 10 Virgins and it made me think about how all of our marriages look different, just like the paintings, but, just like the paintings our marriages can depict this important parable, even though they do not look exactly the same. So, we don’t need to be concerned if our relationship with our spouse is different than other people’s, we only need to be concerned that we are heading as a couple, in the direction where we can see we are better prepared, heeding warnings and diligently working together to increase our emotional intimacy as we journey towards an eternal marriage.

If we are truly working together on these goals, we will not be competing against each other for attention or “one up” each other in any way. We will seek to listen and truly hear our spouses needs and show, through word and action, that they are eternally important to us. I learned this week that, “When we receive the marriage covenant, we also receive challenges and trials necessary for our growth and advancement as individuals and couples.”